Sandy Hook Elementary School

You know, I have been trying to find the way to adequately express the feelings that I have felt about this tragedy... and I don't know what to say.

Shock.  Disbelief.  Tears.  Sobs.  Love.  Sadness.  Fear.  Hope. Strength.

If I am half the teacher as those in that school, I will feel successful.

This shouldn't have happened.  It shouldn't have...  But it did.

We can't dwell too much on it.  There is a time to mourn, and it is now that time.  Everyone should mourn what has occurred, because most of those who died were babies.  Young, innocent, precious children who didn't deserve this.  But I know that they are in a much safer, happier place.  And that gives me comfort.

I pray for all those who have been affected by this tragedy, whether personally or otherwise.  America, it's time to become one.  It's time to find out why these events keep occurring, and what we can do to stop it.  It's time for people to not be scared to go to the movies, the mall, a restaurant, or school.

What can we do about it?

To those 27 souls who passed away on Friday, and to the families and friends of them, I hope that you are able to feel comfort and peace.  I hope you know that the Lord's arms are surrounding you with His love, and that He is mindful of you.  Me, and the rest of this nation, are praying for you.  We hope that you can find peace, comfort, strength, and light during this dark and terrible time.  Evil was there on Friday, but Good will reign supreme.

One thing I dislike about school...

How the teachers ask you to write about what YOU think is important, and then you get docked down because you didn't put what THEY thought was important...

HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?  It doesn't.

The end.

A Good Name: William Shakespeare

“Good name in man and woman, dear my lord,
Is the immediate jewel of their souls:
Who steals my purse steals trash; ’tis something, nothing;
’twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him, And makes me poor indeed.”

"Be as gracious as you were passionate."

Election day has come and gone.  And it's actually amazing to see what people have to say about the outcomes.

Right now, I know that everything happens for a reason.  Obama is president again, and I just hope that things will get better.

The topics I was most concerned about this Election season included Propositions 1, 2, and 3 here in Idaho. I was worried that they were going to pass, and they didn't.  So, that made me pretty darn happy.

Election day is over.  Nothing can be undone, nothing can be changed.  Obama is president.  As American citizens, we need to support our President.

Am I disappointed by some of the outcomes?  Of course.  Especially some in my home state of Washington.  But, we gotta keep moving forward.  Keep our heads high.  Keep working hard.

America can be great, as long as we strive to come together and work together.  Last night showed just how divided the USA can become.  That is NOT what we need to be.  We need to be strong together, we need to work together and fight together.

Changes are coming, I can feel it.  Major, unknown changes.  Do we really want to be a divided nation and face those changes apart?  Or do we want to be together, facing this changes head-on, no regrets?

Personally, I'd rather be together.  But that is just my opinion.

Congratulations to Obama for winning a second term.  Romney, you did good.

And for all you out there who keep complaining, or see no good... Remember this...

"Be as gracious as you were passionate."

Also, there may be some of my followers who are wondering what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Or Mormon Church) has to say about this election.  Read it here:
http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/statement-on-election-result

182nd Semiannual General Conference, October 2012

For the last two days, I have had the wonderful opportunity to listen to prophets, seers, and revelators that are on this earth today.  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and two times a year (the first weekend of April and the first weekend of October) we gather together as a Church to listen to messages created with us in mind.  We are able to feel the Spirit, and learn new things that we can apply in our lives.

This weekend, I have learned so much, felt the Spirit so strongly, and been inspired to make changes in my life.  With this blog post, I decided to write one thing that stood out from every talk that was given.  I want to share the things that I found important, and hopefully see what you felt was important.

For those of you who aren't member of my Church, if you want to find out more about it, then go to www.lds.org, and click on the General Conference link. :]

So, Saturday Morning went like this.

President Thomas S. Monson: Major thing?  18-year-old male and 19-year-old female missionaries!!!  AHH!!  What a HUGE announcement!

Elder Quentin L. Cook: "If ye have experienced a change of heart... can ye feel so now?"  "It is never too late to make the Atonement the foundation of your faith and your life."

Sister Ann M. Dibb:  "I'm a Mormon.  I know it.  I live it.  I love it."

Elder Craig C. Christensen: ""Be inspired by what you feel, not what you see."  "The Holy Ghost speaks with a voice you feel, rather than hear."

Elder Shayne M. Bowen:  "You haven't been robbed.  There is a great blessing waiting for you, if you are worthy and faithful."  (This talk was really emotional for me.)

Elder Russell M. Nelson:  "Don't fear the missionaries, but learn from them."  "ASK THE MISSIONARIES!  THEY CAN HELP YOU!"

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:  "Make resolutions today.  Spend time with those you love, become who God wants you to become, and take the time to just be happy!"

Trust me, there were a LOT more things that stood out.  You can always ask me for more. :]  We can have a pretty sweet discussion! :]

Anyways, moving on.  Saturday Afternoon:

Elder L. Tom Perry:  "Create a strong family culture NOW!"  A strengthened family equals protection.  Begin by the cradle side, teaching by example and precepts.

Elder M. Russell Ballard:  "Great things are brought about, and burdens are lightened, through many hands focused on good."

Elder Larry Echo Hawk:  Don't hesitate to exclaim that you are Mormon, and that you know the Book of Mormon is true!  The message in the Book of Mormon is for ALL people.

Elder Robert C. Gay: It is so easy to get caught up in the world, despite our good intentions.  "I will give away all my sins to know Thee."  Let go of ALL sins, big or small.  "My testimony is my most precious treasure."

Elder Scott D. Whiting:  You are a temple.  Live to the standards that keep you strong, clean, and pure.  "The temple of God is holy, which temple ye are."

Elder Neil L. Andersen:  "Fiery trials are there to make you stronger!"  With faith comes trials of faith that bring increased faith.  (Did you get that? :] Took me a few times to get it down.)  "Hold on.  Fear not.  For God shall be with you forever and ever."

Elder Dallin H. Oaks:  We have the duty to care for children.  We need to protect children from harm/injury of ANY form.  Children are role models of teachability and humbleness.

Sunday Morning:

President Henry B. Eyring:  God is never hidden, though sometimes we are.  We do not need to see Christ to know He cares for us.  The Lord's delays are always calculated to bless.

Elder Boyd K. Packer:  "If you haven't made mistakes, you don't need the Atonement."  Since we've all made mistakes, big or small, we have an immense need for the Atonement.

Sister Linda K. Burton:  "First observe, then serve."

Elder Walter F. Gonzalez:  "Come unto me, that ye may feel and see."  Be still and follow promptings.  Build your foundation on Christ so the Devil will have no power over you.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:  "Do you love me more than you love all this?"  Crowning characteristic of love is ALWAYS loyalty.  We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and love to give.  We can't quit, and we can't go back!  God expects our love and loyalty at every stage of our life.

President Thomas S. Monson:  Instead of focusing on the negative, step back and recognize all the blessings (big or small), and you will be happier.  Heavenly Father is aware of our needs, and will help when we come to Him.  The Lord will, indeed, make up the difference.

Sunday Afternoon:

Elder Robert D. Hales:  How are we doing in our quest to follow Christ?  As we are made new in Christ, our very natures change.  We won't want to go back to our old ways.

Elder Richard G. Scott:  Any work in the temple is time well spent, but doing family's work makes it better.  Do something that will have eternal worth.  This work is a spiritual work done on both sides of the veil.  Begin now.

Elder Russell T. Osguthorpe:  We follow Christ one step at a time.  Each step leads to change and us being closer to God.  Learn, teach, and live the Gospel of Jesus Christ every day.

Elder Marcus B. Nash:  Faith brings us the power of the Lord.  "Look unto me in every thought.  Doubt not. Fear not."  Press forward.

Elder Daniel L. Johnson:  Do your duty, no matter what happens.  Total submission to the Lord needs to happen.

Elder Don R. Clarke:  Sacrament meeting is the most important meeting.  Communicate with heaven, and heaven will communicate with you.  Come prepared, be willing to listen, and don't be distracted.  Comfort and happiness comes to the soul that takes the sacrament worthily.

Elder David A. Bednar:  Testimony is a personal knowledge of spiritual truth.  Conversion- offering of self, love, and loyalty.  Have a mighty change of heart, and a determination to do better!  Testimony alone will not protect us, we must be converted.  Do I still possess weapons of rebellion?  If yes, repent NOW!

President Thomas S. Monson:  Watch over one another.  Be of good cheer.  The purpose of mortality is to learn to grow.  Christ lived for us, and Christ died for us.

Those were the parts that stuck out to me from each talk!  I can't wait until the Ensign comes out, so I can reread these talks, put my thoughts into the margins, and just recall the thoughts and feelings that I had while watching this wonderful General Conference.

Whatever it is, pitying yourself won't solve it.

Did I ever need to hear that today.

I have been struggling a lot lately.  There will be times where I will be sitting at home, the room silent, and I will just start thinking about things.

Thinking isn't a bad thing... except for when you start thinking about all the things that, supposedly, are going wrong.

That seems to be my problem, lately.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I have seen good in everything that I have done over the last few weeks, but my heart has been hurting over some things that I look at and see as if they are going all wrong.

The more I think about those things, though, the less amount of options I see in fixing the "problem."

Yes, I know, this blog post is extremely vague.  But that's okay, because I just need to get this out in the open.

So, I have decided to just let go.  Let go of all that is bothering me, all that is hurting me, all that is causing me to feel as if I have all the problems in the world on my shoulders.

Good bye, worry.  If I can't fix it, then I am just letting go.

I am a Daughter of God

“I won’t flirt with the darkness that I am here to fight.  I’m a Daughter of God, and I’m holding on to virtue.  I am confident in my divinity.  You’ll find me on my Father’s side, no matter what the world may do.”

You know, there are days when I am sitting in my apartment, gazing at my wonderful husband, and thinking about all the things that happened in my life to get me to where I am today.  Let me tell you, there were many events and people that helped me bring my life to where it is today.  But through everything I have gone through, there is always one thing that has never changed.  One truth that I always held on to.  One item that was always a part of my dreams, no matter the good nor the bad that I went through.  I knew that I was a Daughter of God, and I knew that one piece of knowledge would never change or go away.  And because I was a Daughter of God, I would always be able to find my way back to Him.  I love that knowledge.

Now, I am starting my final semester in college before doing Student Teaching, and I felt really alone and worried before it started.  I am only two days into it, but that feeling has gone away.  Why?  Because I know that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me, and wouldn't ever leave me alone.  And, if I remain faithful, He will help me through everything, and He will guide me on the path that I am meant to go on.  

And for that, I am so grateful and humbled. 

Sacred and Divine

"There has come to you as your birthright something beautiful and sacred and divine. Never forget that. Your Eternal Father is the great Master of the universe. He rules over all, but He also will listen to your prayers as His daughter and hear you as you speak with Him. He will answer your prayers. He will not leave you alone."

President Gordon B. Hinckley

Wow... This really struck me.

The Bridge

 

---

There once was a big turntable bridge which spanned a large river. During most of the day the bridge sat with its length running up and down the river parallel with the banks, allowing ships to pass through freely on both sides of the bridge. But at certain times each day, a train would come along, and the bridge would be turned sideways across the river allowing the train to cross. The bridge was just wide enough for a train to cross it.

A switchman sat in a small shack on one side of the river where he operated the controls to turn the bridge and lock it into place as the train passed. One evening as the switchman was waiting for the last train of the day to come, he looked off into the distance through the dimming twilight, and caught sight of the train's light. He stepped to the controls and waited until the train was within a prescribed distance when he was to turn the bridge. He turned the bridge into position for the train to cross, and moved the lever to lock the bridge into position, but to his horror, he found the locking control didn't work. If the bridge was not locked securely into position it would wobble back and forth at the ends when the train came onto it, causing the train to jump the track and go crashing into the river. This would be a passenger train with many people aboard.

He left the bridge turned across the river, and hurried across the bridge to the other side of the river where there was a lever which he could use to operate the lock manually. He would have to hold the lever back firmly as the train passed. He could hear the rumble of the train now, and he took hold of the lever and leaned backward to apply his weight to it, locking the bridge. He kept applying the pressure to keep the mechanism locked. Many lives depended on this man's strength.

Then, coming across the bridge from the direction of his control shack, he heard a sound that made his blood run cold!-----"Daddy, where are you?" His four-year-old son was crossing the bridge to look for him. His first impulse was to cry out to the child, "Run! Run!" but the train was too close; the tiny legs would never make it across the bridge in time. The man almost left the lever to run and snatch up his son and carry him to safety, but he realized he could not get back to the lever. Either the people on the train or his little son must die.

He took just a moment to make his decision. The train sped swiftly and safely on its way, and no one aboard was even aware of the tiny, broken body thrown mercilessly into the river by the onrushing train. Nor were they aware of the pitiful figure of a sobbing man, still clinging tightly to the locked lever long after the train had passed. They didn't see him walking home more slowly than he has ever walked----to tell his wife how he had sacrificed their son.

Now if you can comprehend the emotions which went through this man's heart, you can begin to understand the feelings of our Heavenly Father when he sacrificed His son to bridge the gap between us and eternal life. Can there be any wonder that he caused the earth to tremble and the skies to darken when His Son died? And how does He feel when we speed along through life without giving a thought to what was done for us through Jesus? When was the last time you thanked Him for the sacrifice of His Son? 

Dude, my body is going crazy.

And I do not like it.

Forgiveness

"I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men."

You know, before this last Sunday, I had believed that I had forgiven those who had trespassed against me.  That I had forgiven all those who may have hurt me, or offended me, or made me feel insignificant.  I had believed that I had forgiven myself.  But, that was not the case.

I learned a lot about forgiveness this last Sunday.  I learned that when it comes to forgiveness, it is not just "forgive and forget."  Heavenly Father forgives and forgets, but we don't always forget.  Sure, over time, we may forget the main details, or really forget what even happened that made us feel the way that we did.  But we won't ever forget the lessons that we learned.  We won't forget how that experience made us feel, and how we never want to feel that way again.

I have learned, while going through this process of forgiveness, that I don't need to forget the lessons that I learned.  What I do need to do is forgive without reserve, completely, wholeheartedly, and let go of the barrier that I have placed between myself and the person.  I need to realize that, with that barrier, nothing will get better.  I need to let go of the pain, but I don't need to forget th lesson I learned.

So, to those who I may not have forgiven yet, be patient.  It will take time, but trust me.  You will be forgiven.

What was I thinking?

I HATE SCARY MOVIES!  HATE THEM!

And, for some reason, I seem to always try to watch them.  Then I get freaked out.  And then I can't sleep.

So, here I am.  Trying various ways to fall asleep.

The most recent attempt?  Watching Harry Potter until I fall asleep.

Thankfully, my husband loves me enough to let me watch it.

I love him. <3 and="and" be="be" best="best" e="e" friend="friend" have="have" him.="him." i="i" idea="idea" is="is" my="my" nbsp="nbsp" no="no" p="p" really="really" where="where" without="without" would="would">

I decided that I was going to start a new goal.

I have been putting it off for about a week now, but no more.

I am actually going to do it.

Friends...

I am going to read all the books of scripture in one year.

Yep, you heard me.  The Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price in one year!

Crazy?  Maybe.

Excited?  Heck yes!

I am ready to say that I have read all the books of scripture cover to cover.  It's been a long time since I read the Bible (Old and New Testament), the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price cover to cover, so it will be nice to do that along with the Book of Mormon.

I already read the few pages I needed to today, and already I feel a change in my attitude.  It's amazing how much joy and peace the scriptures can bring into your life, even by just reading a few pages.

Anyone want to join me?  Just let me know!

Loves!

Symone

I am feeling a creativity itch.

I want to improve my photography skills.  I want to see if I can create a business of some sort with it.  My sister took the leap that I have been too afraid to take, and I am kinda jealous.  I want to do that, too.  The problem is that I don't know who would be interested.  That is something that happens with Mary Kay, or really anything else I am interested in.  I am not 100% sure if there is anyone who is actually interested, and therefore I do nothing about it.

Well, I am wanting to make a change.  I want to do more photography.  Now I just need to get out there and do it.

Creativity itch... You will be scratched.

So...

I am married now!  And I love it.

Also, I went through my second to last semester before student teaching last week!

AND I never have to take a state test ever again!  WHOO HOO!

Life is fairly good right now.  Just thinking about two years ago.

"The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph."

Today, I should have been studying.

Today, I should have been preparing for my last two finals.

Today should have been different, in regards to my attitude towards schoolwork.

Instead, I spent some time with some wonderful friends, watching various videos on YouTube.  They ranged from funny to emotional to inspiring.  There was one video that we watched that had all three.

Have you watched "The Butterfly Circus" yet?  It's a short film made a few years ago.

Here, here's a link to it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_MCwlY6zzg

If you have 20 minutes to spare, watch it.  You will laugh, cry, and feel empowered to continue on with whatever you are facing.  I have watched it twice now, and feel so much better about life.

The title of this blog is a line from that short film, coming at a crucial part.

Honestly, just watch it.  You will not regret it.

If I have learned anything over this last week...

It's that I need to not doubt myself, my abilities, and my potential to become great.  I have started to doubt all those things over the course of this last semester.  My question now, though, is why?

Source: bekahhagan.tumblr.com via Symone on Pinterest

I'd love to talk about all the good things in my life.

I'd love to talk about how I am now married, and am enjoying every second.

I'd love to talk about a new step I am taking in my life, something that not a lot of people think I will be good at or am even qualified to do, but I am gonna try it anyways.

I would love to talk about how I registered for my very last semester earlier this week.

But I can't right now.

A woman very close to my mother, making her close to our family, passed away yesterday.  Every little while, I sit and think about how she won't be with her children again...  How she won't wake up to the sunshine ever again...  How Heavenly Father's plan for her led to Him taking her away from us.

I know that she is in a wonderful place, and that Heavenly Father is watching over her family right now.  It's just been rather hard for all of us.

One day, I will write about everything good.  But today, my thoughts have been with Elizabeth and her family.  I love you, Elizabeth, and I hope you know how much you were appreciated.  You will be missed. <3

Do you ever wonder if you weren't supposed to do something?

It's days like today where I wonder if I really am doing what I am supposed to be doing.  If I really am in the place where I need to be.  If I should be doing something else.

What makes me wonder, though, is in October I got the confirmation that I needed to be at BYUI full-time, that I needed to press forward with my degree, and GET my degree.

But this semester has led to me questioning everything with that.

What am I to do?

Grr.  I don't like this feeling.  Not.  At.  All.

There are few things that make me mad...

But some of them include people not following the rules, making me feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable in my own apartment, not helping with cleaning AT ALL, and not helping me find things that are obviously important.

Can it just be tomorrow already?  And then May 25th?  I am so ready to have only one roommate!

Some things to remember.

‎"If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present." ♥


"If we have faith in Christ, the hardest and easiest times in life will be a blessing." Henry B. Eyring

Interesting quote from my Geography class.

"But while one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard; He views them as His offspring, and without any of those contracted feelings that influence the children of men, causes 'His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.' He holds the reins of judgment in His hands; He is a wise Lawgiver, and will judge all men, not according to the narrow, contracted notions of men, but, 'according to the deeds done in the body whether they be good or evil,' or whether these deeds were done in England, America, Spain, Turkey, or India. He will judge them, 'not according to what they have not, but according to what they have,' those who have lived without law, will be judged without law, and those who have a law, will be judged by that law. We need not doubt the wisdom and intelligence of the Great Jehovah; He will award judgment or mercy to all nations according to their several deserts, their means of obtaining intelligence, the laws by which they are governed, the facilities afforded them of obtaining correct information, and His inscrutable designs in relation to the human family; and when the designs of God shall be made manifest, and the curtain of futurity be withdrawn, we shall all of us eventually have to confess that the Judge of all the earth has done right."
Joseph Smith

As excited as I am for my wedding, getting there sucks.

DIY?

I seriously can't wait to try all these Do-It-Yourself things, like homemade laundry detergent, homemade body wash, homemade furniture... So so so so stoked! :]

Time to think.

It is only 8:35 in the morning, and in the last two hours that I have been awake, I have had so many epiphanies and so much time to think and realize that changes and adjustments need to be made.  Not only that, but I can't do this alone.  Today is the day to make those adjustments.  If I want to be happy and have good relationships, I need to make the change today.

I WAS TAGGED! :]

THE RULES

1. Post these rules

2. Post 11 random things about yourself

3. Answer the questions provided by the one who tagged you

4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag

5. Go to their blog and tell them they've been tagged!

(Is it bad that I don't know who to tag?  Ugh... whoever reads this, if you feel so inclined, answer away!  Reuse the questions I answered!)

11 random things about myself:

1. My first name is French, my middle name is Japanese, and my last name is Scottish.  I am half Puerto Rican, half Caucasian.  Basically, I am a melting pot. :]

2. I am engaged to one of the BEST people ever!  He seriously is so amazing, and I feel so lucky.

3. I have recently become obsessed with Words with Friends.  I have 6 games going on right now, and I play it as often as I can.  If you have one, ADD ME!

4. In case you didn't know, Epic Soundtracks radio is one of the greatest things ever.  Seriously, go listen.  Pandora.  Go.  Now.

5. I have a deep, dark secret that only a few people know.  One day, everyone may know.  But, for now, I am okay with just the few people that know. :]

6. I.  Hate.  Cooked.  Vegetables.  With a passion.  Gross.

7. I have slowly realized that I cannot name my children anything close to Lee.  Like Timothy.  Or Kaylie.  Dang.

8. I am a Seahawks and Mariners fan for life!  Yes, they aren't good teams.  Do I care?  Not really.

9. By this time next year, I will be student teaching.  Which is both exciting and frightening all at the same time!

10. If I could own any car, it would be a Mustang.  Oh baby.  I love those cars.

11. If I got to choose where I would live for the rest of my life, I would live in Washington.  Without a doubt.  Preferably Western Washington.  But I will probably end up in the South.  Hahaha

Questions Zandra asked!!

1. What is your favorite nickname people call you?

My middle name, Misao.  I didn't like to be called that for the longest time, but it has grown on me.

2. What is the biggest obstacle you have overcome in the last year?

Getting over my past.  There was a LOT of tough stuff that I went through in 2010, so 2011 was dealing with that and making sense of it all.

3. Where is "home" to you?

This is a tough one... Rexburg has grown to by my home, but I still feel like part of me will always be in Washington.  I love both places for different reasons, but as far as where I want to be on a general basis, it's probably Rexburg. 

4. Do you have a favorite meal?

I love tacos.  And lasagna.  Basically, I love Mexican and Italian meals.  But my ALL TIME favorite meal is chicken and rice made by either my mom or grandma.  Delicious, I tell ya!

5. Where is your favorite place to run away to?

My favorite place to run away to... Hmm... Here in Rexburg, it's basically anywhere outdoors.  Back home, it's Seattle or Tacoma.  The waterfront is just beautiful!

6. What is something you feel like you are taking for granted?

I think I am taking my ability to relax for granted.  Weird thing, I know, but for the last little while I have been all focused on classes, nothing else.  I really need to take the time to relax, calm down, and know that everything will be okay.

7. What is one of your earliest memories?

Visiting my great-grandmother, and getting tootsie rolls.  She was a wonderful woman, and there are times when I wish I would have known her better.  I was young, though, when she passed away.  But I know that I will be able to see her again and talk to her, and get to know all about her life.  Eventually. :]

8. Are you right or left handed?

Right handed.

9. Do you sleep with socks on?

I didn't use to sleep with socks on, but now I do.  It is a recent development.  Which is kinda weird, but I need socks to sleep now.

10. What is your favorite weather to wake up to?

Warm, sunny, clear skies.  I can't WAIT for summer!

11. What is the first word you think of that starts with the letter Q?

Quail.  What a weird word to think of first!

A few things to think about.

Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad?
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late.
God: Yes.
Me: My car took forever to start.
God: Okay.
Me: At lunch, they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait.
God: Huummm.
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call.
God: All right.
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home, I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax.  BUT it wouldn't work!!!  Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
Me (humbled): OH.
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay.
God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call.  I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see, God.
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry, God.
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children.




“Let’s talk about rape for a moment. Rape is not what George Lucas did to your childhood. Rape is not what happens when a sports team beats another sports team by a wide margin. Rape is not what happens when your electric bill is higher this month than it was last month. Rape is when a person violates another person in the most despicable, degrading way imaginable and among the myriad of terrible things humans can do to one another, rape is among the worst. I think the casual misappropriation of the concept of rape extending all the way to its widespread comical usage is disgusting even by Internet standards. ”

-Jeffrey Rowland

I love my family.

Every single member of my family.  My parents, my siblings, everyone.

It's amazing how family can make you feel so much better when you are feeling down.

And the support and love that they are continually giving baffles my mind.

My family is the best family for me.  There is a reason I have the parents I do, and the sisters and brothers I do.

We were meant to be together forever, and help each other through the trials and hardships that are brought to us.

I love my family, and am so grateful for the strength in the gospel and the love that they share.

Especially right now.

I need to learn how to control my emotions.

Can I be honest?

I am the happiest I have ever been.

I am in love with the greatest person in the entire world.

My semester has started off strong.

I am now confident again in my choices for the future.

I really have nothing to complain about.

But, for some reason, my brain is still so full of things that I am worried about.

I just need to breathe.

I just need to think.

I just need to analyze.

And I need to know that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

Stay calm and be strong.

"If you are too busy to read the scriptures, then you are busier than the Lord intended you to be."

To the man downstairs:

Stop trying to ruin my life.  Seriously.  I am supposed to be a teacher, whether I actually end up being at a school for a long time in my life, or I stay home and watch my kids.  I am meant to be a teacher.  I have been wanting to do this since I was nine years old.  Stop trying to make me doubt it now.

Oh, and I am marrying Ryan.  So stop trying to sabotage that, too.  It isn't going to work.

In case you didn't know, I am way stronger than you might think I am.  I have many people who stand beside me who are willing and ready to help me in a moments notice.  So, go ahead.  Try to fight me.  Try to tear me down.  I can promise you this.  It isn't going to work.

I know what is coming in my life, and you can try to stop it however you want to.  But in the end, it will come.

So, the semester just started yesterday.

And already I have had so many thoughts bounce around my head.  I don't know if they are from me, if someone is trying to tell me something, or if someone else is just trying to take me away from the path.  Either way, I am SO confused about everything school related, and I have no idea what to do about it.