Sunday, January 31, 2010
Since starting school at BYU-I in September of 2008, I have seen a fair number of my friends prepare for and leave on their missions. While some are still serving, a good chunk have come home early. Why? Everyone has a reason, and I don't, won't, and have never judged someone for coming home early. I just... don't understand why.
A few months ago, I finally admitted to feelings. And they haven't changed. But I have seen some feelings change in the friends around me. How does that happen? And to some, the changes have happened quickly. Why?
I also have realized that some of my friends from high school don't seem to want to be the same friends that they were. Why? Have I changed? Have they? I don't even know.
I seem to have lost a best friend. And to be honest... I really am not that sad. Sure, I feel bad because she was my best friend for years, but time changes people, and that's what seems to have happened between her and I.
These are the things that have been on my mind. Kind of scrambled, but that's how my mind is right now.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
This year, Malcolm got his license, and took control of the car. MY car. The car my parents bought from my aunt for MY use. At first I wasn't happy, but I figured that he should be able to drive. I mean, I understood his enthusiasm to drive, since he just got his license. So, eventually, I got over it and just let him drive McStreamy.
On Thursday, the brakes in my beautiful car stopped working while my brother was driving him. Malcolm was turning into the church, and had to drive up over the curb. He went over a fire hydrant and hit a tree. Both of the airbags went off, and my brother was rattled like there was no tomorrow. While my brother didn't get hurt at all, thank the Lord, my car was totaled. The front of the car was all bashed in from the tree, and everything under the car got destroyed from the fire hydrant.
Today, I miss McStreamy. I didn't get to drive him that much while I was home this time around, and now I never will again.
I am glad Malcolm is okay, but I miss my car.
R.I.P. McStreamy. I hope you are having fun in car heaven.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I GOT THE JOB! I am working at Sound Family Medicine in the mail room and with medical records. My week goes like this...
Sundays- Church 1:30-3:30PM
Mondays- Work 8AM-4PM, with lunch from 12-1PM; FHE at 7PM
Tuesdays- Work 8AM-4PM, with lunch from 12-1PM
Wednesdays- Work 8AM-4PM, with lunch from 12-1PM; Zumba 7-8PM
Thursdays- Work 8AM-4PM, with lunch from 12-1PM
Fridays- Work 8AM-4PM, with lunch from 12-1PM
It's awesome...? At least I have a job. It keeps me busy.
Also, I decided on the camera over the car. I am really excited about it!! I am also getting a new cell phone! YES! And, I'm buying them WITH MY OWN MONEY! Which makes everything SO MUCH COOLER!
I also decided to make some care packages for people. If you want one, you should let me know ;). What would you put into a care package? I am at a blank for what I would put in them.
Anyways, I know this isn't a great post, but I will TRY to get better at it! PROMISE!
Monday, January 11, 2010
"...I finally understood what true love really meant... love mean[s] that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be." - John, a character from "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks
I just finished reading "Dear John" and I cried like a baby. No joke. It was a wonderful book. It was hard to read, because something like that truly has happened in the world. But it showed the true meaning of what love is to me. Love is caring more about the other person's happiness more than your own, and allowing them to be happy, whether you are or not. That includes leaving them alone, ending the relationship, and allowing them to move on.
Everyone has the right to be happy. Everyone has the right to live they life they want, to not be hurt everyday, to do what they want and not be told they can't. Everyone has the right to say NO, to stop a bad relationship in order to feel better themselves.
If unhappy with something, you aren't feeling true love. I've learned that.
One day, I will find true love. I know this to be true. Whether it happens sooner or later doesn't matter to me. I know I need to learn to love myself before allowing someone else to love me. I need to remember that I have changed, grown, and matured. I am not the same girl I was two years ago. The past is the past. I need to learn from it.
Seems like today I have had my eyes opened, and have learned a lot. Sorry this is a rambling post, I just needed to get it out.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
"I'm bored and don't want to do homework, so I decided to call you."
"Remember when I would come into your room and watch shows when we both should have been doing homework?"
( Thoughts in head: *No wonder she called me*)
JILLISE CALL ME AT HOME!!! CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL!!!
"Sorry about that weird noise I made... I almost sneezed."
"All I heard was that noise, and then nothing else. I got worried!"
just because you are far away, doesn't mean you don't have roommate duties
GOOD! I don't want those duties to go away! :)
oh they won't
I am glad to hear that. :)
WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD TO ME?
Because you are my roommate, and my bestie. And you deserve it.
So shut up and let me talk!
I love you Chelsie
love you too
A Chevy Cavalier 2002 silver 4 door automatic car. I call him McStreamy. A combination of McDreamy and McSteamy. If you watch Grey's Anatomy, you understand the meaning of those two names. Yeah, I was obsessed with Grey's Anatomy when I got the car. Deal with it :D.
This car is causing fights to occur between my brother and I. As I have been out at school, I have learned to seriously hate fighting. Screaming, yelling, being mean. I just don't like it. So, having to come home to Malcolm having his license was one of the things I did not want to deal with.
"You should have just stayed in Idaho."
"You always talk behind my back, so shut up."
"She is liked more than me, and gets away with more."
"She got to use it during school, why can't I?"
Honestly, if worse comes to worse, I will just walk to work. I'd work near my house anyways, and I would walk around school all the time, with the exception of using Chelsie's car. I just don't want to fight anymore.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
But I am sad that I am not going back to Idaho, where it seems my real friends are. They will all be doing fun things, like dances, movie nights, helping to plan a wedding, and I will be...
Today has been a good day, but I want a GREAT day. I want to take pictures, make music videos, laugh about something stupid I said, attempt to do homework, then get distracted by walking into my roommate's room and start watching Grey's online. I want to listen to problems, and stay up late talking about my feelings to my roommate. That, to me, is a great day,
I want to be in Idaho, even if I know I should be in Washington right now.
I REALLY hope I get the chance to visit my roommates sometime this semester. Even if it might just be for a weekend.
I wish I had a car. MY car. A car only I could use. Then I could just get in it and drive to my friends.
Home is a weird word to me now. Where is my home, really? Is it in Rexburg, ID? Or is it still in Puyallup, WA? To be honest, I have no idea.
Hopefully tomorrow will not be as rainy as today, so that maybe I can go and take pictures. I really do miss that...
Sorry this is way random. Just some things I needed to say.