Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
"[T]hen it's lights out by ten thirty! That's when I lay in bed, ear plugs in, trying to ignore the fog horn-esque snoring that eminates from the 6'6" 300 pound black missionary across the room. Oh my gosh. It's amazing I sleep at all, I tell you what! But, don't get me wrong, he's an awesome guy. Love everything about him, minus that."
I laughed hard when I read this. :]
Sunday, November 15, 2009
ugh i hate emotions
so do i
why do they exist?
Because they help us show how we are feeling, and help us learn and grow
why do you have to be so philosophical?
Hahaha I was talking to my sister just now about feelings and things of that nature. She said that she just has a lot going on, which led to the conversation above.
I'm not philosophical, but apparently my sister thinks I am. LoL I love her.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Nelson Mandela
This quote was said in Akeelah and the Bee which was showing on The Disney Channel yesterday. This quote shows that I am not afraid of growing up, of making decisions. The thing I am most afraid of is ME! I don't feel, right now, that I am gorgeous, or brilliant, or fabulous. I don't feel like I deserve anyone to date or marry since I am not the best person. I am still as closed off as I was a year ago, even if I feel that I have changed. Don't get me wrong, I know that I have grown, that I have changed, that things will get better. But, why does life have to be so hard? Why did I do the things that I did? Why did I allow myself to be broken?
I hate you. I hate everything you put me through. I hate you for making me feel like I HAD to do something, when really I didn't. I hate you for saying that you loved me, and for me believing it. I hate you for breaking me, but the thing I hate the most is that I can't hate you at all. I can't bring myself to hate you, or anyone else who has, or will, hurt me. I just wish that things had happened different.
Life, my friends, can be hard. It can be tough, sorrowful, and make you want to scream. But, life is also beautiful. Life can bring joy, happiness, fun, and make you want to scream from the buildings that you love life! Time will tell what happens to me, but I sure hope that I can get better, and that I can find someone who will help me feel good, that I will help him feel good, and that we can lift each other and get closer to God with each other. That's what I need. But, for right now, I will focus on my relationship with my Heavenly Father. That is the one and only relationship I need right now.
Help me get through this, Lord. I know I'm probably making it harder than it needs to be, but with your help, that will change.
Sorry for the random blog. It just needed to come out.