Thirteen Reasons Why

So, I went to Borders one day when my family and I were shopping, and I started to read this book, "Thirteen Reasons Why" by Jay Asher. It caught my attention, and seemed very interesting. In the book, it talks about thirteen reasons why a girl committed suicide. Kinda morbid, I know, but interesting at the same time... At least to me.

Anyways, I wanted to give thirteen reasons of why I love life in this blog. Just because it feels like a good time to.

Thirteen Reasons Why Symone Misao Stout Loves Life:

1) My parents

2) My siblings

3) My roommates

4) My bestie best friends

5) My best friends (yes, there is a difference :D)

6) My religion

7) My school

8) Sunsets

9) Music

10) Movies

11) 3 hours of television every Thursday

12) Learning new things every day

13) Quotes that I live by every day

Every single one of these things, plus many many others, reminds me daily that Life IS Beautiful.

Even when things get tough, these things help me get through.

Just thought I would let everyone know :]

LOVES <3

When something goes UP, more than likely it will come crashing down.

Yesterday was a rough day on me. I really have no other way to explain it. My emotions were going crazy, and I was frustrated and irritated and stressed and had no idea what to do.

"I feel that if I hadn't texted you first, you probably wouldn't have talked to me."

Excuses, then no excuses. Apologies, crying, talking. Confusion, having to say what I truly felt, bitterness, let it go.

I feel better today. I do. A weight has surely been lifted off my shoulders. But, I still don't understand what I am supposed to do. I guess I have done all I can to help.

The ball's in your court. If you need help, you can ask, but you have to ACT on what you know.

I love you, mister, but you need to start getting better. If not for yourself, for your friends. They miss you being happy.

LOVES <3

I love my brother.

Growing up, I hated him. We fought all the time, said some terrible things to each other, and never wanted anything to do with one another.

My 9th grade year was the worst. I was in "high school", he was a sevie. He told me to f- myself. Of course I did tell all his friends that he still wet the bed... Not a very good year for us.

Then, I started getting boyfriends, and my little brudder started to act like the older son. The "my sister is a one-of-a-kind girl, you will never find another girl like her in your lifetime, so you screw with her, and I will mess up your face" kind of brother.

Now, I love my brother. He is the greatest. He is my protecting brother. The one I can talk to if something has bothered me. The one who will throw me surprise parties on my birthday because I don't have anything planned. The one who will mix yellow cake batter, grab two spoons, sit with me and eat it while watching a movie. The one who is finally happy again, and I am so happy to see that.

He is in Choir and does theater, which is the GREATEST thing for him. He is so good at it, and I can tell he loves it, whether he wants to admit it or not.

Malcolm starts singing at 1:45 :D

Malcolm, you are amazing, and I will love you always and forever. You are the greatest brother!

LOVES <3

Just saying

no matter how angry you get, or how long you don't talk to me, I will still be here for you.

Does that make me a dumb person?

This is something I want to do.

Have you seen the show "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition"? You know, that show where Ty Pennington and crew go to deserving families, tear their house down and rebuild them a better house?

Well, I want to be a volunteer on that show REALLY badly! I just think it would be a lot of fun to help a deserving family get a new house, one that will be better for them in the long run. I have watched this show for many years, and it never ceases to make me cry.

One day, I WILL be a part of this.

LOVES <3

Ave Maria

We will never get this research paper done... My group keeps getting distracted!!!

HELP ME!

AND NOW! I have to research something totally different than what I have been!

BLEH!

LOVES <3

Sickness...

Sucks.

Sore Throat. Stuffy/Runny Nose. Cough. 99.7 degree temperature. Not wanting to hear I have swine.

Erin, my roommate, thinks I do, since it has been going around at school.

Hopefully I don't... I am in mucho need of soup... and tissues... and other friends...

But thank the Lord for roommates who love me! :]

LOVES <3

Weekend

My weekend isn't over yet, but a lot has already happened. On Friday, Chelsie, Jillise, Mindie, Kaiti, and I went to a bonfire, hosted by Vicki. It was a lot of fun! I still smell of bonfire :( but that's okay.

Wow, I look scary...

Then, on Saturday, I went on a day-long field trip for my Natural Disasters class. We went to the Teton Dam site, Henry's Lake, Island Park, West Yellowstone, and other places. We talked about different natural disasters that had occurred in those places. It was a very interesting trip, but I don't think it had to take 9 hours out of my day to do.

Now, it's Sunday. I miss people today... And I've been thinking a lot over the weekend, and I don't know how to organize my thoughts. Maybe I just need to write them all down and then rip it up. That might help...

LOVES <3

It's weird how interconnected life can be.

Yesterday, Dallin H. Oaks, an apostle from the LDS church, came to my school and gave a devotional talk. In his talk, he discussed how the freedom of religion is being threatened by the world, and we need to protect it. Another thing he brought up, though, was the Prop 8 problems in CA that resulted when Prop 8 was approved, and members of the community started to gang up on the LDS church, and other churches as well, for supporting it. He said, "We have endured a wave of media-reported charges that the Mormons are trying to 'deny' people or 'strip' people of their 'rights.' " The Mormons have not tried to strip anyone of their rights, we are just trying to protect our rights of religion, as well as protect the basic "core legal definition and practice of marriage in Western culture for thousands of years."

But, anyways, moving on. After this devotional, I was kind of confused, because that was not what I was expecting to hear from an apostle of the Lord. I didn't get why he talked about it, but I figured it must be important if he wanted to talk about it. Then, this morning, I looked on my Facebook, and got an invitation to join a group. I look at the group, and it is titled "Students for R-71: Support giving the rights to gays/lesbians/trans-gendered who deserve them." And it's funny to me because I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to take "rights" away from everyone, but if the nation agrees that marriage is between a man and a woman, there isn't much to be done. Also, do you get marriage-like rights if you are just living with another person? I don't find that fair, but that's just me. Anyways, I don't know what to do about this, but hopefully people will start to see that trying to change the rights of certain things infringes on the rights of others, and we need to find a middle ground. Just my opinion…

LOVES <3

Random Temple Adventure

So, I feel a little bad about this, but today me and one of my roomies skipped out on the last two hours of church, and took a trip up to the temple. And we took some pictures. We are so cool :)

Oh life

Sometimes I'm confused. Sometimes I'm way happy. Sometimes I just wish the future could be the present.

I've been thinking about a lot of different things over the last week, and I am mostly confused than anything else. I know with time the confusion might leave, but I don't know...

Why now?!

LOVES <3

Dear Santa,

For Christmas, there are a couple things I would like.

If all my family puts the gift money together, I would love an SLR digital camera :)

If that's not the case, then here is my list...

1) Remember the Titans DVD

2) Mulan on DVD

3) Disney movies on DVD

4) The Office CLUE Game

5) Seasons 1, 3-5 of The Office

6) Seasons 1-5 of Grey's Anatomy

7) Money LoL

8) A job

9) New clothes

10) Every single Glee song

11) Michael Buble CDs

12) Some other things that I can't remember...

Just a note to give you an idea, Santa. I've been good, I promise :D

LOVES <3

Two years later....

ONE OF MY best friends (have to make that clear for some girls here at BYU-I... hahaha) just left to go back home in CA. After going home, and sometime later this month (fingers crossed!), he will be off to Guatemala and serving a mission for the church.

...I am way excited and sad at the same time...

This week was a weird one. I was in a fight for most of the week with people from back home, read something on Facebook that made me really upset, and I miss my family. Also, my friend was up here at school, but things weren't the same. The light was gone, the joy was nonexistent, and the excitement to come out here was now excitement to go home.

No laughter... No talks... Nothing.

I felt lost, like nothing that I could do would help him in any way, no matter what he said. I call it "selective listening."

Friday, the last day. We went to dinner in Idaho Falls at Olive Garden. So good! And I saw it... a glimpse of Fall semester... laughing, talking, looking at stars, singing songs... Bliss.

I wasn't ready for that, and with that happening, it made saying goodbye for a fourth time harder than expected, but at least now I know I am truly saying goodbye.

Be safe, stay strong, and know the Lord loves you. I won't say goodbye.

See you in two years, Elder Ivey.

LOVES <3

Ch- Ch- Ch- CHANGES!

Okay, so I have sat in my room most days, and have thought about the past.

High School...

First year of college...

Mistakes...

Family...

School activities...

Friends...

Music...

Movies...

Clothes...

And you know what I realized? I have changed! And you want to know something else? I like the person I have become, and I don't want her to leave.

It's weird to look on the past and see the things that have occurred. At times, when I think back, I don't feel good. I feel sick to my stomach, I feel like I could have handled things better. But, without those "accidents", I don't think I would be where I am now. Being at the school I am at, I can feel myself getting happy. I can feel weights being lifted off my shoulders, and I know that, honestly, I don't need to deal with those things anymore. I can MOVE ON! I don't have to hide behind a mask to be who I want. I am now free to be the girl I want.

It took a lot to get me to this point... And, obviously, I still make mistakes. I still do things that I most likely shouldn't do, and I choose things that aren't good. But, I am doing it less and less, and I love that.

So, will the old Symone please step aside, and allow the new Symone to take your place. It'll be better, I promise :]

LOVES <3

I want to get better... I WILL get better.

“Try a little harder to be a little better.” - Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley

You know, everyone isn't at the top. Not even those you are CEOs of different companies are at the top. Sure, for worldly things they may be at the top, but that's not the top I am thinking about.

All of us, everyone here on this Earth, can reach for a higher spiritual level, to be close to THAT top.

Try a little harder to be a little better. I heard this quote in my mission prep class. It couldn't have come at a better time in my life. For a while now, I know that I need to get a little better, not only spiritually but emotionally and mentally as well. I, in my short life of 19 years, have gone through a lot... All of which was my choice. In this life, as I believe it, we all have moral agency. We have the CHOICE to either follow God (or whoever you believe to be the source of greatest happiness) or to just do what you want, when you want, with who you want.

The sad part is, when you waver... slip away... do those things that you KNOW are wrong, but don't care... you get lost. You can't see the way, you can't feel happiness. You wander around, not knowing who to talk to... what to do now... You did what you wanted, thinking it would bring you happiness, which it may have done, but for only a little amount of time. And then you are back to where you started, wishing you could find a way to get happiness in your life, but choosing the short path.

Try a little harder to be a little better. You need to see the BIG picture. The choices made at this time in your life will affect everything to comes afterwards. And that's what I have been trying to work on a lot. I need to realize that there is a bigger picture, that there is a greater plan for me. I need to stay on the path to make sure that better part of my life truly does come around.

So, I guess I just wanted to say that I know this is something I can work on. I know what I want now, and it's not the worldly things, or the short term happiness. I want ETERNAL happiness, bliss, and to feel great at all times, not just for a little while.

So, I'm starting now to apply this quote in my life. I WILL try a little harder to be a little better. Sure, it may be hard, but I have friends, family, and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to help me. With their help, there is nothing I can't do.

LOVES <3>