I read the book The Missing Piece Meets The Big O yesterday with my darling husband. He'd never read it before (I was shocked, I tell ya!), so I decided to read it aloud like I would in an elementary classroom. Student Teaching is taking over my life, but I wouldn't have it any other way. :] Anyways, as we were reading it, I had a lot of things go through my mind. This whole book is about being happy with yourself before finding someone else. Now, it could be placed in many situations, but it spoke loud and clear to me yesterday for one specific situation.
Then, this morning, I read my scriptures. I read 2 Nephi 4 today, and verses 15-35 REALLY opened my eyes.
Lately, I have been feeling rather alone. Whether it is my doing or not, it doesn't matter. Now, not everything is going bad. My marriage is amazing, I love my family and friends, and Student Teaching is one of the all-time GREATEST experiences of my life so far, but I still feel like I am being left behind, for some strange reason. But today, as I read my scriptures and thought about the things that I read yesterday, somethings were made absolutely clear.
1) I need to grow spiritually. Here is something I read yesterday that points that out to me. "Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles explained that God provides us with challenges that are designed to help us grow spiritually: 'Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more (see Proverbs 3:11–12). He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain'." I feel, at this point in my life, that I need to increase my spiritual self, and find out the things that I may not be doing correctly, or where I can improve, in order to be a better wife, friend, sister, helper, and Daughter of God.
2) I need to place my trust in the Lord. 2 Nephi 4:34 states, "O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm." I need to place my trust in the Lord, and really, truly believe that His plan is greater than mine, and that the things that are occurring are to HELP me, not HURT me.
3) I need to learn to be okay with myself. Just as The Missing Piece needed to find out how to be okay with itself, I, too, need to do that. I need to learn that it really is okay to not hear from friends every day, or to not have plans with people every day. I need to learn how to be okay, productive, and loving to myself before pushing for others to come into play.
Maybe this blog post makes no sense, and maybe this won't affect anyone else, but I am grateful for the inspirations that I have received, and I plan on trying my best to get better.